好難受

Xanga 真的很就沒用了….

轉眼間... 也過了半年了...

六個月那麼短, 該遇到的也差不多都見到了…..

今天又......... 其實, 整個星期都差不多是.

想了很久... 我還是覺得唸唸她是對的….   我一定dissapoint 她很多….  早講比晚講好… 至少我現在知道她有想要改進…  那樣我就不用再提了.

但是, 以前人家都說我的耐心跟度量是個無底洞...  我不懂為什麼最近就越來越 lose that capacity...

常常跟她鬥嘴....  我一直以為是為她好.... 但是... 真的嗎?  還是給她帶來困擾?  看起來我說的話根本是沒必要的...

吵到最後好像感覺我站在一個很脆弱的地板上… 隨時都會塔..…

朋友都說, you can't be too soft in a relationship... otherwise your you let her walk all over you

我知道那是什麼意思..... 但我一直 refuse to take control....  雖然可能會對她太好... 說不定她都已經習慣了我那麼軟性….  我還是會 prefer that.

因為...  如果我們有一天是因為這樣而散開, 那我也心甘情願.  至少我對的起自己的良心.  我做了我心中想做的事.

我知道她對長久的愛情不是有很大的期待.  她看起來就是有 set 好的 goal 要實現....  大家都知道我是走遠路的....  但是不知道我為什麼, 明明知道她在不久會離開, 還是忍耐那傷心的事實, 繼續跟著她走下去.....  說不定我在等什麼鳥奇蹟發生吧....

為什麼.... 我感覺就是沒有她的信任?  好像一不小心踩空了, 我們兩個就結束了….  感覺好不自然….

我好希望可以用我曾經對某某人的精神來保護她….  我不管她怎樣對待我….  她以前的傷口一定很深….  我不要輕易的放棄….

Well... it's been a while since the last post...  here's my attempt to freshen things up.

Let's start by addressing a few things from the last post:

- Again, thanks to TJ, new phone!  well, to be exact, ANOTHER phone!  yes, the lower-end Korean stuff proves to be MUCH more durable than most of the Japanese offerings.....  Meh, as expected.

- I ended up buying a $120 power supply to replace the weird smelling one.......  this OCZ Modstream thing better work well for a while.

- I fixed my 6800GT-OC, so it doesn't glitch anymore..... but... all I did was... OVER-overclock it.  wow, I guess some things just need a good kicking once in a while.

- to make up for paying the parking tickets and being harrased by old ladies honking at me, I was offered a drive in a Cayman S!  w00t.  not as fast as I've hoped but was quick enough to smoke a few things!  Bring it on bitches!

- turns out, I didn't have as many bills as I thought.  alot of them were doubles!  Now how do you like that!  how the hell do you get double invoice for anything........?

And now for some random stuff....

MikesteRtwo is going nowhere right now!!

oh yeah.  Fido gave me free network calling (Fido + Rogers).... Although, I didn't realize until today that the "gift" was valid not only till the end of this month but.. it's until the end of april... so.... wuhahaha, that means I basically call for free until may!

I now envy Robin's new Dell PDA!!!  I can't believe for once I like something from Dell!!

I got raped by the Stat midterm........... so to even things out, I raped the physics one so hard that Einstein wud've had to wash my dishes for me.  And wash the windows.  And wash my 'rents Corolla too.  ack to heck with it, vaccuum it too!

arrrrrrrrr my reading break is only 4 days long... and.... I'm not getting any reading done... neither am I getting any break!!  SOooooo much to do!!!!  fack!

Oh yeah, anyone got a charger for a Moto ROKR?  I need it to test the phone but the owner lost his charger -. -".....

It's only tuesday, and I smell horrible week:

- Parking ticket x2 (oops)

- got honked at by 2 fat ladies for driving too slow (wow, irony)

- cell phone decided to kill itself all of a sudden.  just... poof, gone, zap, i need a new phone now

- I think I short out my videocard somehow (fuck, that's my 6800GTOC)

- my power supply smells funny

- bills bills bills

- insomnia, as a result, late for everything next day that's schedule before lunch.

- I have been zoning out

- couldn't even finish damn easy compsci assignment.  should take me less than half hour but 1 hour turned out to be not enough.  I've been losing my touch lately but I didn't think I lost that much.

- I almost failed on some phys lab thing that was basically grd 12 material.

- I'm still broke

- wtf.

Ever since sunday night everything's been shitty.  I'm sorry

Some people needs to grow a brain

lately I've been having lots of complaints from both sexes, usually talking about the same problem:

guys telling me that their dream girl or whoever rejected them even after they were close for a long time because she felt like too close to them, and girls complaining to me about how they just lost a very close friend because he asked her out and she had to refuse because they're just buddies.

well there boys and girls, there's obviously some things that you're doing from not using your brain.

- guys: If you want someone, stop being the nice guy.  Being thoughtful and caring is the way to go, but if you're too nice, the girls will just think you are that way by nature, and take it for granted as if it's not something special that you're providing.  If you're constantly too nice then the girls will always pick someone ELSE over you.  that's just how it works.  nice guys have no attraction from girls in that sense.  A shoulder to cry on, ears to hear her rant, lips to say what she wants to hear, and the capacity to hold it all in without getting angry.  but things don't work out like movies and dramas so stop expecting anything to happen because you are doing that.

- gals: If a guy is really close to you as a friend only, and you wish to keep it that way, clarify it.  you all know when a guy likes you so don't give me that bullshit of "but I thought he was just a good friend", and stop pretending that you know nothing.  some tells me "I don't want to hurt his feelings in the beginning" but look at you now, it hurts more right?  damn straight.

- other gals: If your bf is being an ass and it pisses the living daylight out of you, and everyone else hates the guy also, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!  just STOP moving your lips AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!  no one wants to hear that shit!  I've heard way too much!  and if you want to back up the same asshole when someone responds to your complaints, then, you know you love that asshole so STOP COMPLAINING IN THE FIRST PLACE! (Oh, wait, you don't?  Well, please refer back to the beginning of "other gals")

Not like I want to hear those things everyday, I got enough to worry about.  The nice guy hotline has been abused and has now overloaded.  Piss off.

Normal programming will resume shortly

I wonder.....

Is SpongeBob depicted as a Tampon? He's absorbent, lives in Bikini Bottom, employed by Crabs, and is friends with Sandy Cheeks.

wow, the creator had us fooled all along!